I Hate Driving

The title does not lie. There is this build-up of stress inside of me right before I get in any vehicle. To be honest, I have hardly driven compared to other Americans who live in rural areas. I have heard of individuals who don’t own a vehicle, but should. They don’t seem to have the same problems whenever they have the chance to drive though.

I didn’t receive a permit until I was 17 years of age. The truth is that I failed the test twice before I finally passed. This was all within the span of about a week. My father didn’t really push me to drive. He was happy to do it for me. Yes, he drove me to school in the morning and back home. In fact, he drove me home for lunch and back. Why would I feel motivated to drive a vehicle when I had a chauffeur (more like a body guard).

Now I know why he did what he did. He was trying to keep me inexperienced and hoped I wouldn’t get into any kind of trouble. I still did, a little, but I have always been an introvert. When I did venture out, I preferred to be outside and nearby–alone. It was easy to just walk somewhere or ask my father for a ride. Of course, I was a homebody more than anything.

Most people that I know had one permit and then a license–not me. I had 3 driving permits for the span of 5 years. The only awful picture I’ve ever taken was during my second permit. That was a bad year for me, anyway.

There were a few reason why I finally had to get a driver’s license. The major one being the death of my dad in 2014. That would, of course, be the end of my free rides. Also, I had my first boyfriend who quickly became my husband. It was just time to take that step in life. I needed to replace my dad when it came to taking my mother to appointments and grocery shopping. Additionally, my husband thought I would find a job 8-25 miles away like a normal person. That didn’t actually pan out, as usual.

How was the test for the driving license? Well, I was nervous as ever. I drove around a small town, but the town (village) I’m from is smaller still. I was sweating the whole time. Obviously, I passed. I was told to be careful because I drove too close to a man walking his dog. Also, that town has mostly yield crossings, but very few of them have an actual yield sign… The lack of visible white paint at a red light caused me a slight issue. Apparently, crossing in to the opposite lane and surpassing one vehicle, while using the proper mirrors, was one of the most important aspect of passing the test. I believe I would have failed even in a large town. Forget the City.

As you can see, I am a late bloomer. Additionally, I am immature and inexperienced in so many matters. There is a pattern. Of course, after I was married I needed to get a new license. To be honest, I got lazy. I avoided doing it for several months even though it was only a matter of taking a new picture. The office just brings back the unnecessary anxiety. Also, I hate the weight section of the card. You can see my erratic weight losses and gains. I am currently 100 lbs if you are curious.

So how is my driving? I’m okay. I haven’t really been tested. The last time I drove around a large town I put a hole in the oil pan. I don’t usually talk about it. The worst was in trying to pass a semi, but getting too close. Basically, had the driver not been totally focused then we would have gone under and died. He pushed the brakes, honked, passed us, and drove on about 10 mi/hr faster than necessary. I would cause that. I can be oblivious one minute and then anal grandma the next. Regardless, I am always stressed. The fear of driving is a crutch.

I am a Melancholic-Phlegmatic

The melancholic-phlegmatic is tidier, more procedural and less flexible than the phlegmatic-melancholic. He may be slower to take on new projects, as the melancholic fear of new situations and tendency to perfectionism takes over. The double-dose of introversion, along with the melancholic tendency to negativity, makes it difficult for him to give compliments and make upbeat small talk. It also causes him to instinctively say “no” when he first hears a request. Others may perceive this as “snobbishness.” Unless the melancholic-phlegmatic is very comfortable, and is surrounded by understanding long-time friends, he may find himself somewhat isolated and alone, unable to warm up in a social gathering. He is less critical and less grudge-bearing than a pure melancholic or a melancholic-choleric. However, the tendency of the melancholic to dwell on things for a long time in their mind, combined with the sensitivity of the phlegmatic toward interpersonal relationships, can result in long-lasting hurts, an erosion of self-confidence and self-esteem, and even depression. Extremely sensitive and possessing a longing for the ideal (melancholic), they are also highly attentive to what others need or desire, through their phlegmatic aspect. This makes them more than usually susceptible to anxiety and a negative self-image

This temperament combination is highly driven to succeed—not for success’ sake alone, but because their melancholic nature is drawn to high ideals, and their phlegmatic side will have a strong desire to please. Thus, they are capable of long-range planning, organization, and attention to detail that makes them excellent and conscientious scholars. They are capable of pursuing highly idealistic goals, usually with long-term academic requirements, such as attaining their doctorate. They value their friendships, but can spend many hours alone reading or studying. They may have a tendency to hypochondria or to genuine physical weaknesses, as well as a tendency to timidity and anxiety, especially about new activities or ventures.

One melancholic-phlegmatic we know is highly organized, critical, slow, and dogmatically unforgiving, yet reveals her phlegmatic aspect in her intense discomfort with confrontation (unless she is very at ease among the warring members) and in her strong relationships with her friends. You wouldn’t guess that she is so devoted to her friends, however, because true to her melancholic nature she rarely initiates contact with them – they always have to call her first. A tendency to avoid the stresses of social interaction by spending overmuch time alone—whether in scholarly pursuits or reading for relaxation—is something that melancholic-phlegmatics need to watch out for.

If your temperament is melancholic-phlegmatic, for a better understanding of your temperament it is recommended that you read the full descriptions of the melancholic and phlegmatic.

Source: The Melancholic / Phlegmatic